Is Robb Demarest’s apology sincere? What do you think?
This is just a small sample of some of the comments that filtered through in response to my last two posts –
“A leopard never changes its spots”
“He has apologised because he has been backed into a corner and knows he’s being watched”
“His letter is stupid”
And here’s an email I received –
I’m not sure if you will ever read this email, but since I’ve been following your posts about Robb for a couple of years, I felt compelled to write.
First, a little background about me. I used to be a huge GHI fan and admit to having a bit of a celeb crush on Robb. That’s the reason why I Google’d his name one day and came upon your site. I was simply astounded reading your story and those of the other women. But I immediately believed everything you wrote for a simple reason: there was always something about him that seemed “off.”
I used to leave posts on his Facebook account and was pretty surprised that he responded to a number of them. Most celebrities don’t give you the time of day, and that’s what I’ve come to accept. His responses took my fandom to the next level. Looking back, that’s a nice way of manipulating a person – these guys know that if you give a fan a tiny bit of attention, they will just feel even crazier about you. Around that time, I opened a Google+ account.
Not really understanding how the whole thing worked, I left it alone until Robb actually asked me to join his “circle.” Despite my crush, I was happily married (at the time), and getting the invite from him just gave me a creepy feeling. I accepted his invite, but I stopped posting and interacting with him. When I read your blog, I was really glad I did. I began to see that that’s how he managed to engage with so many female fans, eventually developing romantic yet twisted relationships with them. He seems to like Asian or other ethnic women the most (I’m also Asian). By the way, you are absolutely stunning, and I can see why he fell for you.
From reading your blog, I could see that Robb is a narcissist, as well as a sociopath. He had to be as most normal people couldn’t juggle that many relationships in that many countries, promising marriage and babies and a happily ever after to a multitude of women. I can barely keep track of my own relatives and friends. How he managed to juggle so many women is beyond me. Only an evil, fucked up individual could do something like that so successfully, and for so long.
I never thought he would ever admit to being wrong and actually apologizing. I’m sure you didn’t either. As astounded as I was first finding out the truth about him, I was just as astounded reading his apology to you. If you decide to accept his apology, that is your right, and I will stand by whatever decision you make. Even though I don’t know you, however, as a woman who has supported you from afar, I just have to say that I don’t have a good feeling about the situation. I don’t completely buy his apology. He’s like the criminal who’s not sorry for committing the crime…he’s just very very sorry he got caught.
Your web site very much was a public service announcement, not only for female fans of Robb but for women everywhere who are in a vulnerable state. I have since separated from my husband and was thinking about dating again, but I decided not to take the plunge right away, knowing that I tend to be very naive and gullible when it comes to men. I could have easily fallen for someone like Robb. I tend to trust too easily if anyone shows me a modicum of kindness and attention. Reading your blog made me a bit more wise to reality in general – that few things are as they seem, and that most people have skeletons in their closets. Your blog has helped me navigate the world a bit more cautiously.
I think ultimately your web site helped him face the music, so to speak. He probably lost potential gigs because of it. He probably has had less success manipulating women because of it. He has had to face the disappointment of his children because of it. He had no choice but to recognize that he was found out and that he could no longer get away with his bullshit. Therefore, he had little choice but to make a public apology, hoping to garner the sympathy of those around him.
In my mind, he apologized because he had no choice. And reading the responses by women on his apology posts were disgusting…they were quick to say what a great guy he is for owning his mistakes (without probably even knowing the background), and they were even quicker to think even MORE highly of him for doing so. Genius move, don’t you think?
HIs apology seemed so weak. So vague. I think if he was truly sorry and honest about wanting to become a better man (think of all the abusive assholes before him who have said the same thing after being caught – think Chris Brown and Harvey Weinstein), I’d have to hear him say in detail EXACTLY what he did to you and all those other women.
I want him to tell his fans that dated multiple women at the same time, promising them marriage and babies and the world. I want him to tell his fans how he lied to each of those women, and how he did abusive things to them in bed against their will. I wonder then if his fans will continue telling him what a great guy he is.
His 15 minutes of fame have long been over. You originally said that you wouldn’t stop going after Robb until he leaves his “celebrity” life behind. I think you should stand by that. As long as there are women who are enamored by his past celebrity, someone like him will NEVER change.
You can’t suddenly not be a narcissist. You can’t suddenly not be a sociopath. How does one make such a drastic 180 change as he is claiming to make? I just don’t buy that he is a “changed man.” I think he is a cornered man, and his only way out of the corner is to appear humble, make a feeble apology, and then gain the forgiveness and love of people who don’t know the full story. PLEASE don’t take down your web site. Let it be a permanent warning for women. It helped me. Think of all the other thousands you probably helped.
Please continue to be cautious, Jackie. I wish you and your adorable son well.
As with everything else connected to this website, there were a lot of backroom discussions that took place before, during and after the “apology”; enough for me to fill a book.
Woman #13, whose story I’ve yet to tell, stepped in to mediate between the two of us. Through her efforts, Robb and I finally talked after 27 months of open warfare. We talked for countless hours almost every day for 3 weeks.
We are no longer talking.
Stay tuned to find out what happened, as I will be sharing transcripts of my chats with a number of key players over that period. Then you can draw your own conclusions about the Robb Demarest apology.
(ps. for those who don’t know, Fact or Faked was a TV show, the star of which Robb attacked publicly on Facebook when he and I broke up in 2016. That’s another story for another day.)
BTW, I’m not sure if the email writer above saw this specific comment on Robb’s initial apology on Facebook, but it is typical of the kind of support he was receiving from his fans. This infuriated many behind the scenes, whose comments calling him out were being deleted.
First thing I’d like to say is thank you to Jackie Tang for allowing me to have this space on her site. This isn’t my space, this is her website and she decides what goes on it. She didn’t have to let me say anything here and I think people would understand if she didn’t so I appreciate her letting me say what I have to say. With that being said, no. 1, it should be obvious to anyone reading this website that this is not an endorsement by Jackie of my statement. She is just giving me the space to say it.
That said, I don’t agree with many things on this website. Now, Jackie and I have spoken for hours and hours and hours; she could probably give you a better estimate, but I’d say well over 5. Lots to go through, lots to discuss and see where we’re at. And I think one of the biggest things is that she wants to see in her opinion if I were genuinely remorseful for the things I did. Well I said it on Facebook and I’m saying it on this website, to all the people I cheated on and the people I hurt, I sincerely apologize.
Now I’ve been cheated on myself, and you go, well there you go, right away he tries to defend himself; no it’s actually the opposite. If you think about it, having been cheated on, I should have really known better; if you knew how truly awful it feels to have someone go behind your back and lie to you, then you shouldn’t do it.
So I could give explanations and excuses, and I’m not trying to excuse my behaviour, it’s not that I didn’t know what I was doing. It was immature, it was thoughtless, it was heartless, it was mean-spirited, it was cruel, and I could go on and on; it was the definition of a jerk, and I don’t want to be that guy.
So, I’ve dedicated myself, and have been for sometime – I don’t cheat. You don’t have to believe me; Jackie and I have talked about this – no way am I trying to win back fans, it’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to explain that there’s genuine remorse.
I guess that there’s a good question there – which is – are you sorry you did it, or are you sorry you got caught? I’m sorry I did it and I’ve thought about that for quite some time – and my thought was – what if you stole a million dollars and you got away with it? You’d still be sorry you did it – that you stole someone’s money.
And whether I got caught or not is not the point, it’s the fact that I did it at all, and it made me feel like garbage. And I know no-one out there is going to shed any tears and I’m not asking you to; you know cheating is something especially from a male that has become not acceptable but almost condoned, and it really shouldn’t be. And I’m not talking about the #metoo movement and harassment in the workplace; I’m talking about being in a relationship and lying to the other person, and you would find this in almost every religion in the world – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
So I can’t sit there and cheat and then say, boo hoo everybody, feel bad for me, but I do the same thing. So have I learned from this experience? Yes, not because I got caught, because wrong is wrong and there’s a choice involved.
I won’t make the wrong choice again; I will never cheat again in my life, and like I said, your belief is your belief, you can say yeah right, once a cheater always a cheater; I’ve said that myself, people don’t change, they’re just trying to appear as though they have changed. I’m not trying to trick anybody on this website, I know I have no fans here, I’m not trying to pull the wool over anybody’s eyes, I won’t cheat again.
I’m sorry if my writing has been a bit disjointed; this isn’t the easiest thing to talk about. You know, you don’t want to be known as someone who has to come out and admit that they were an awful person and a cheater, you know, but it feels good and there’s redemption in that. I truly believe in forgiveness and in growing and growth as a person and I’ve been working on myself for a long time and there’s still a long way to go.
Once again, my apologies to those people I cheated and lied to, and thank you Jackie Tang for giving me this time.
Heads-up – if you’re reading this and expecting my usual snark, you are going to be disappointed.
I published my previous post late on Wednesday night, and I woke up on Thursday morning to this message –
Robb Demarest – Jackie, I apologize for hurting and being insensitive to your feelings. You deserved much better treatment, and I was wrong. I should have said this a long time ago. I’m sorry.
I didn’t respond immediately, but frankly, I felt it was grossly inadequate, and I was somewhat suspicious of his motives.
More messages trickled in during the day, until finally this –
Robb Demarest – Nyok, would you (sp) prefer I not message?
I figured at that stage that I should respond.
Now, if there’s one thing that really bugs me, it’s having my name dragged through the mud by Robb’s fans since I broke the story over 2 years ago.
So I replied by sending him a screenshot of John Buffoon’s, oops, Buffam’s comment on my Facebook wall (did I say no snark? I lied)
Jackie M: Robb, first of all, I forgave you a long time ago…
(I followed with a laundry list of gripes, and a request for him to post a separate apology on FB and to tell his fans to back off from attacking me)
Robb Demarest: All good points. It irked me when anyone attacked you…I want a standalone apology.
I’m so sorry it got to this. Take a look at the post tomorrow and let me know what you think. Before that, Jackie, I am sorry.
Jackie M: Okay thank you
Robb Demarest: My genuine words are posted. If ANYONE is nasty to you, I will defriend them. I’m trying to do my best to be better. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.
This was what he posted on his Facebook wall:
July 6 at 3:19 PM
Jackie, I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused. Any slights I threw at you were disrespectful. I would ask that no one say nasty things to her or I will have to defriend you. She had her reasons for her statements, and insulting her in any way is uncalled for and unacceptable. It is my hope that you accept my apology. It is sincere. Robb
I was still cynical, especially when he deleted a comment that he felt was attacking him, but left one up which attacked me. I expressed my annoyance and he agreed and deleted that too.
Not long after that post, Robb called and we spoke at length. I challenged him stridently and to my surprise, he conceded my points.
This was his message after we got off the phone –
You can’t disagree when the other person is right. Also, I think you would be proud of the direction I’m trying to take my life in. Talk soon. Have a good night.
And thank you.
Saturday morning, one of the women whose story I’ve never told, made contact and urged me to talk to him further. She felt we needed to resolve this.
So we had another phonecall, which lasted just under 2 hours.
I took him to task every time it sounded like he was trying to plant doubt about some of the stories. He backed down on all but the most serious allegation.
He had also heard from someone that I claimed we were engaged for 3 years. If you’ve read my story, you’ll know that’s not what I said; we were engaged for a brief period, but we dated for 4 years. He had called me a liar on social media based on incorrect third hand information.
I also demanded there be no attempts at character assassination of the women; the fact remained that he made promises and lied to them about being monogamous. He agreed.
At the end, I came away recognising that he is a work-in-progress, but I’m grateful he has taken definite steps in the right direction.
I also got him to craft a personal apology to Annaliesje, which I sent to her –
Jackie M: Annaka, this is from Robb –
Robb Demarest: Ahna, what I did to you was mean, hurtful, and nasty especially knowing what happened to you in the past. I apologize, but I don’t expect you to accept. I really screwed up. That said, I really am sorry.
Jackie M: I told him I’d check if you wanted him to call you directly so you could give him an earful
Annaliesje: No.. I don’t need to talk to him.. I accept his apology and hope he can be happy and live life.. it is nice that he apologized .. thanks Jackie for letting me know thank you for all that you’ve done for all of us that have suffered and been in pain ..
… thank you for everything…
I get that opinion will be divided on this latest development –
- Some will feel this is too little, too late.
I can only say that I believe someone paid for my own sins with his blood 2000 years ago, so the least I can do in turn is to forgive.
Also, if you think I’m being soft on Robb, remember I’m the one who’s put my reputation on the line for over 2 years running this campaign and I’d have kept going for another 20 if I had to.
- Some will demand I now pull down this website, that at this stage it’s just pure vendetta etc.
Robb himself says that it should stay up. I think that by staying up at for least some time, it serves a number of purposes –
- People won’t think I buckled under pressure, or have been lying all along about the stories
- They won’t think I got bribed to close it down
- It’ll give some continuity to the story and show that there is a resolution to the whole saga; it’ll show that redemption can take place by owning up to one’s past behaviour and taking corrective action
- Finally, I guess it will help keep Robb on the straight and narrow until we’re both satisfied that he’s a fully changed man
Thank you to everyone who’s stood by us through this sordid ordeal; it means more than you realise.
For those who tried to give Robb a pass and water down the seriousness of the allegations, Robb himself has this to say – any kind of womanising is not right; if you think it’s cool, you’re basically a d*ck.
Not all of us are together on this; I passed on Robb’s message to a third woman, and she rejected it outright.
In the same way that I’ve given some of these women a platform to speak out, I will be doing the same for Robb Demarest, so the next post will be from him.
Since I last posted, I’ve heard from other women, including Robb’s wife (the same woman he claimed back in 2014 that he was officially divorced from, though apparently she never got the memo). Maybe one day I’ll share more; we shall see.
What did come as an unexpected surprise was a friend request back in February this year (2018) from – of all people – Robb Demarest himself. Evidently he’d decided to unblock me after 2 years, and wanted to talk. This was his message –
Robb: Hello Jackie. Do you know who did the stupid fake Robb page? That is so not your m.o. I’d also like to send a letter from N. Ireland to state that I am not being accused of any crime. Obviously, I’d like to see if we can come to a peaceful conclusion. I am in contact with several police agencies in Sydney, but as you seem bored of it, maybe a recorded Skype? Anyway, you know I respect you and would like to shut this down! Talk soon, Robb.
I had a look at Robb’s FB page to see what he was talking about, and it looked like he had been ranting about a fake Robb Demarest profile that someone had set up (with Robb spelled as “Rob” – which tells me this person is a genius troll, since it’s Robb’s biggest pet peeve).
It’s clear from Robb’s message that he is still completely unrepentant and in denial about what he did, with his stupid legalistic parsings about not being currently accused of any crime in Northern Ireland, where the report was filed, and with the not-so-subtle threat about being “in contact with several police agencies in Sydney”.
This is why this website needs to stay up. Too many women are bullied into keeping silent.
Since I started my crusade, apart from being harassed by Robb’s fans, he’s set his lawyer on me, hired a private investigator (who left me a threatening voicemail), and lodged a police report to try and shut me down. None of it has worked.
Women need to see that it’s okay to stand strong in the face of this kind of intimidation.
If you’re reading this, I might as well tell you now, Robb.
The police, when they came to visit me back when you first filed the report, had already completely cleared me of any crime; they came, in fact, to see if they could help ME to nail YOU on any crime based on the evidence I had.
So if you’re still in contact with them, THANK YOU for keeping your story alive in their minds; it saves me the trouble of having to remind them myself. Love, your favourite Aussie xx
(Final part of Annaliesje’s story, in her own words -)
Checklist of what Robb Demarest says or does.
Robb will –
- Meet you online on FB, Twitter, etc or at an event…usually paranormal. Sometimes from a like on one of his comments or pages.
- Say he loves you
- Call you Baby
- Tell you that you are his girlfriend
- Tell you that he is divorced
- Talk bad about everyone in the paranormal, even in his own local group
- Tell you how people wronged him in the paranormal field
- Tell you about his family wronging him
- Tell you stories of his friends cheating on their girlfriends and that he could never understand why they cheat
- Tell you that he is a 1 woman man and you are the one, he does not believe in cheating, and if you do, you are out!
- Beg you to have his baby and let him get you pregnant and have God decide
- Call you his wife, wife-to-be or his fiancée. You are spoken for.
- Send you tons and tons of cartoon stickers, mostly pregnant girl ones
- Say romantic things to you (online) but in person…just drama and passive aggressive behavior
- Make you question your recognition of memories between both of you and second guess yourself
- Make you feel that you can change him and protect him from what your friends and family say about him
- Have you make him your priority and make you feel like distancing your friends and plans for him
- Make you feel sorry for him
- Charm you and make you forget the ugliness of things between you both that has happened..the fighting but he will remind you that it was all you
- Send pictures back to you that you had sent him..to make you feel uncomfortable
- Constantly beg for naked pictures and videos telling you what he wants you to do in them
- Cut you off for days if you question or say something he does not want to hear or he will change the subject or just keep texting you cartoon messages as a response
- Hate your friends, only like the married ones
- Tell you that he is your best friend and that is final
- Call or text at his own time and you better be there for him 24/7
- Tell you his phone is broken or he does not have one, he will only do everything online
- Tell you how and what to post on-line and tell you things like don’t cut your hair or not to go
- Talk bad about all his girlfriends, they are all cheaters and liars
- Use his celebrity status (if you can call it that) to charm his way to you
- Make you keep your relationship private but will make you change your status to (IN A RELATIONSHIP) ON FB. He will not change his and will monitor your posts.
- Not talk to you for days or weeks at a time periodically
- Make you feel like you are on eggshells around him..he gets mad very easily
- Get jealous very easily
- Talk bad about other paranormal involved people that are relatively famous, but then he will post a picture of himself with them, example…profile pic on FB
- Tell you he wants to help you with your kids and wants a baby with you
- Tell you he wants to get an apartment with you and give you a timeline when he will move out of the house and on his own without his ex wife
- Plan a future of marriage with you
The End – as Robb used to say.
(Annaliesje in her own words, continues…)
I tried texting him back…I would not hear from him until the next day…of course I was at work and upset.
He called me at work, on my lunch and said that there was an old girlfriend and other girls he dated that are out to get him…I told him that I did not care, that was a long time ago…
As long as you have not cheated on me…I don’t care…he said he would never hurt me and that he loved me…that Friday, I was to teach my very first class…early morning at 8.30am…
Now it was Thursday morning and my phone was blowing up from messages and texts about my boyfriend, Robb…it’s all over the internet…a fraud…cheater…double life…married…all these women…
I then got a call from a reporter…I was literally in shock…I was still in my PJ’s and could not move out of bed…I had to get a throw up pan and was constantly throwing up…The reporter gave me Jackie’s info…the whistle blower…
I messaged her…why are you doing this to Robb Demarest?
Annaliesje Trees – I’m sorry to bother you but why are you doing this to Robb Demerest (sp) I just need to know. Thank you (April 1, 2016)
Annaliesje Trees – Will you please call me? I need closure please. 503xxxxxx I need to know the truth. Thank you…You can call me on messenger as well. (April 1, 2016)
She went on to tell me…I was so sick…I was so in shock…I couldn’t move…shaking…crying…
I texted Robb…he said ignore them…it is all lies…
I dated them years and years ago…
(The evidence – )
(Message from Robb Demarest to Jackie M on 2 Feb, 2016)
Robb Demarest –
You are my tiny baby
I own the rights to Nyok Tang
Call yourself Jackie all u want but I’ll sue u
(2 Feb 2016)
(Robb’s explanation for the evidence)
(Robb Demarest claimed this was old conversation but note the mention of losing his (Saudi) job which was a recent occurrence)
Robb Demarest –
…Swear on my kids
I wanted you 24/7
(Then come over!)
If I had the money…I got let go
(It doesn’t cost much to fly, right?)
I lost my job, Nyok. You should be my sugar momma 😉
(Conversation between Robb Demarest and Jackie M Feb 2016 re: Vietnam)
Robb Demarest –
Hell Yes! Can we get sponsors?
(I can start asking….Vietnam I have to get my assistant to research)
(Okay will put sth together)
Can I xxxxxx you?
Btw I really want to…
(You’d better not be seeing anyone else)
I’m not, and you better whisper…
He tried calling me over and over and texted me…
Ignored him…he texted me that he did not want to hurt me that maybe we should break up so then when people ask about him…I could say we aren’t together any longer but we will secretly keep dating…
Just to give it a rest for awhile until this whole thing blows over…
The rest of the day…it was all over FB…Twitter and on the news…
I ignored my friends and family…
I was in shock, remember, that next morning, I was to teach my very first fitness class…and I did it, to be honest, I don’t even remember teaching it…
I know now, that was because I was in severe shock, I could barely see out of my almost closed swollen eyes.
(More evidence from a different woman – Woman #6’s message to Robb Demarest when she found out about his trip to see Annaliesje)
Robb would text me a few more times through the week and then it stopped.
The aftermath was awful…I got hate texts and messages from people in the paranormal and even people I did not know.
Again, calling me a slut, liar and more or less an attention getter trying to get fame from Robb Demarest.
When these women were coming forward, I again, got another shock treatment, when I recognized one of the women, I had actually gone to school with her in the 9th grade and we were best friends and even modeled together for the same agency, she had moved to California and become famous!
It is a small world out there.
The women that were coming forward, I noticed that we all looked so much alike. Mostly dark hair and dark eyes.
I ended up going to counseling; it has been a tough road but I am much better.
I look back on this, thinking, what was I thinking and how dumb was I to have believed all of this and putting up with it. Most people out there will say, why did you not get out of it quickly. You are stupid and etc. I don’t know.
For over the past 3 years, I have been going through a lot. My marriage ended after 20 years, losing friends that had sided with my ex-husband and tried to flow bad rumors about me in the paranormal and lies, the human trafficking fiasco including the TV episode I was in about it, trying to hide it all from my family, a terrible modeling agent, and my mental health taking its toll.
I am now out of the paranormal and no longer with The Shanghai Tunnels. I have to stay out of the paranormal, it is not healthy for me mentally or physically.
All the time in dusty basements and investigating old houses etc, has taken an effect on my lungs. I still today, have a spot on my lung, a lung infection, pneumonia. This is my opinion, but I feel like the paranormal field changes people, it did me.
I was not myself and I began not being happy and I was always frustrated and unhappy. There are a lot of badisms in this field. It changed me too but I changed back and got out of it.
This will make these people mad at me for saying this but a lot of people in these groups knew about Robb and turned the other way. His friends would even reach out to me telling me that they believe me but yet they are still friends with him to this very day. I really don’t get it.
Robb never had anything nice to say about anyone , especially famous paranormal people out there, yes, I know about you guys. He told me how a guy from Ghost Hunters International took his job away and about his girlfriend on the show; he made me watch her on an episode on a DVD when he was here and told me she was a cheater and that her sister wanted them to get married and how all girls cheated on him. He continued over and over and over again, trash talked about everyone in the paranormal.
Robb will try to convince you that you are the one and he will pressure you to get pregnant over and over again! Yes, there was a baby involved and NO, it’s not what you think…I will leave it at that…I don’t want to talk anymore about this subject.
I am not doing this for revenge; to this very day, I still get told by friends and family to move on. They will never really understand and have never gone through this. Please let God judge…don’t judge me.
As I have learned in counseling, people heal and recover at different speeds. I had to do this letter for me and for all women that have gone or is going through something like this.
I really want all women out there and paranormal groups out there, to really look at what’s going on. We all are daughters, sisters, aunts , mothers and grandmothers or have them. Would you want any of this stuff to happen to them? You may hate me or not like me but I would not wish these things on my enemies!!
I have gotten comments like – This has nothing to do with the Paranormal. Oh, but it does. The facts are out there, I have taken the steps to protect myself as proof! I trust no-one anymore! I have grown stronger and have learned from this, I have since gotten closer to God and have new friends in the fitness world focusing on positivity and looking for a much brighter future and look at life.
I still go to counseling and have started my life over. I will never be broken again by a sexual predator, mind mixer and a fraud like Robb, ever again!
Girls, if you are currently with him, just know that I have said many prayers for you, because you will need them, because he will destroy your life like he almost destroyed mine.
(final instalment to come…)