That was the message from a male friend who had been following my Demarest posts from Day One, and who had originally questioned whether my “obsession” might be hurting me.
(If you’re one of those people who wonder the same thing, trust me, it’s not – it’s my way of reclaiming my power and sending a message to Demarest that I am going to hold him accountable for his actions.)
Oh yes, before I go on, I know I’m missing Part 2 of The Women In Their Own Words . I tend to underestimate the impact of my posts and Part 1 stirred up quite a hornet’s nest online when it was posted just over a week ago. I thrive in this environment but I appreciate a lot of it is still very raw for some of the other women. I’m giving them some breathing space before I publish part deux, but it will solve the mystery of Florida and also involve a Playboy centerfold, so keep your eyes peeled for it.
My friend writes –
I get what you’re doing now. It’s legitimate. He’s an absolute dead ringer to subject a person to violence.
Me – …People need to be warned about him. He’s a fraud.
…He my (sp) be sociopathic as well per the fact that he has been successful in switching his emotions off….
Me – …Publicly he was fundraising for breast cancer but when one of his women had a breast cancer scare he had zero interest or concern. She (later) had a breakdown and he wouldn’t even take her calls.
…he has learned that he has an ability to gain the emotional trust of females. It’s quite deadly.
(At this point my friend gave a theory about Demarest’s sexual orientation which I won’t share right now since I still know very little about human psychology.)
You are doing this because you are appalled at yourself for falling for him.
Me – Yes that’s a large part of it…He gained access to me via his celebrity.
You are an intelligent, capable (pick another 10 adjectives) yet he got under your skin.
Me – Not that I had a crush on him, but because I recognised him from TV I added him back.
So it’s a personal catharsis as well as a warning to other less able women…
My friend was right, of course. I’ve always prided myself in being a tough nut to crack and Demarest recognised that when he wormed his way back into my life in January/February this year (some lovey-dovey talk from him preceded this) –
(nb. I’ll talk about the proposal another time; it’s a good story.)
So that’s very recent, and after years of dealing with his inconsistencies I was clearly guarded, but I wanted to compare it to interactions from the early days, and this was what I dug up from back in January 2012 (don’t forget our date formats are backwards in this part of the world).
This was what I was like 4 years ago, before we started officially dating. At this point he had spent weeks grooming me through long hours of platonic conversation, and he was getting impatient (he’s referring here to my Chinese name – Nyok) –
[11/01/2012 12:25:16 AM] robbghi says: I like it.
[11/01/2012 12:25:22 AM] Jackie M says: chinese music?
[11/01/2012 12:25:30 AM] robbghi says: And your name.
[11/01/2012 12:25:35 AM] Jackie M says: ok
[11/01/2012 12:25:45 AM] Jackie M says: thank you
[11/01/2012 12:25:51 AM] robbghi says: You are very welcome.
[11/01/2012 12:26:20 AM] robbghi says: And your hair.
[11/01/2012 12:26:31 AM] robbghi says: And your smile.
[11/01/2012 12:26:43 AM] Jackie M says: thanks. i get that a lot.my hair, that is. my name, not so much.
[11/01/2012 12:26:45 AM] Jackie M says: never, in fact
[11/01/2012 12:26:46 AM] robbghi says: The attitude though? Phew…thats tough
[11/01/2012 12:26:56 AM] Jackie M says: yeah, deal with it
And this, in the middle of a chat about a TV show –
Followed by this –
Yes, I’m mad at myself for eventually succumbing to him; I held up really well for the longest time. I didn’t go weak-kneed at the attention from this (minor) celebrity, and I’m not (despite an idiotic Mr. Prater’s little tantrum on my FB page about my “jilted woman” posts) writing because I’m bitter about the “fish that got away” – I’m telling a story that needs to be told.
Potential victims can read about all of this and make their own decisions – some continue to defend him and that’s their prerogative. My job is to show the world how this conman got under my skin (and that of SEVEN other women) – if he can do it to me, he can do it to anyone.