First thing I’d like to say is thank you to Jackie Tang for allowing me to have this space on her site. This isn’t my space, this is her website and she decides what goes on it. She didn’t have to let me say anything here and I think people would understand if she didn’t so I appreciate her letting me say what I have to say. With that being said, no. 1, it should be obvious to anyone reading this website that this is not an endorsement by Jackie of my statement. She is just giving me the space to say it.
That said, I don’t agree with many things on this website. Now, Jackie and I have spoken for hours and hours and hours; she could probably give you a better estimate, but I’d say well over 5. Lots to go through, lots to discuss and see where we’re at. And I think one of the biggest things is that she wants to see in her opinion if I were genuinely remorseful for the things I did. Well I said it on Facebook and I’m saying it on this website, to all the people I cheated on and the people I hurt, I sincerely apologize.
Now I’ve been cheated on myself, and you go, well there you go, right away he tries to defend himself; no it’s actually the opposite. If you think about it, having been cheated on, I should have really known better; if you knew how truly awful it feels to have someone go behind your back and lie to you, then you shouldn’t do it.
So I could give explanations and excuses, and I’m not trying to excuse my behaviour, it’s not that I didn’t know what I was doing. It was immature, it was thoughtless, it was heartless, it was mean-spirited, it was cruel, and I could go on and on; it was the definition of a jerk, and I don’t want to be that guy.
So, I’ve dedicated myself, and have been for sometime – I don’t cheat. You don’t have to believe me; Jackie and I have talked about this – no way am I trying to win back fans, it’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to explain that there’s genuine remorse.
I guess that there’s a good question there – which is – are you sorry you did it, or are you sorry you got caught? I’m sorry I did it and I’ve thought about that for quite some time – and my thought was – what if you stole a million dollars and you got away with it? You’d still be sorry you did it – that you stole someone’s money.
And whether I got caught or not is not the point, it’s the fact that I did it at all, and it made me feel like garbage. And I know no-one out there is going to shed any tears and I’m not asking you to; you know cheating is something especially from a male that has become not acceptable but almost condoned, and it really shouldn’t be. And I’m not talking about the #metoo movement and harassment in the workplace; I’m talking about being in a relationship and lying to the other person, and you would find this in almost every religion in the world – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
So I can’t sit there and cheat and then say, boo hoo everybody, feel bad for me, but I do the same thing. So have I learned from this experience? Yes, not because I got caught, because wrong is wrong and there’s a choice involved.
I won’t make the wrong choice again; I will never cheat again in my life, and like I said, your belief is your belief, you can say yeah right, once a cheater always a cheater; I’ve said that myself, people don’t change, they’re just trying to appear as though they have changed. I’m not trying to trick anybody on this website, I know I have no fans here, I’m not trying to pull the wool over anybody’s eyes, I won’t cheat again.
I’m sorry if my writing has been a bit disjointed; this isn’t the easiest thing to talk about. You know, you don’t want to be known as someone who has to come out and admit that they were an awful person and a cheater, you know, but it feels good and there’s redemption in that. I truly believe in forgiveness and in growing and growth as a person and I’ve been working on myself for a long time and there’s still a long way to go.
Once again, my apologies to those people I cheated and lied to, and thank you Jackie Tang for giving me this time.